Ask yourself this question. Often, if you must.
Scan your life, scan your body, scan your mind. Sit in that curiosity. And then sit in an acceptance of what transpires.
There are often very real cues in indication of our wellbeing. You may be at the level where it is from your body; aches, pains, tension in certain areas. This is a call to action, physical restoration. This indicates a need to pause, and take a deep look at what your body may be reacting to. You may need to activate healing from the realm of the physical. Do you need to literally relax your muscles as often as you can? Do you need to up your dose of personal grooming and tending to your health and ailments? Have you neglected your physical health? This level is a doorway, and tending to it can heal various elements on different levels.
It may be your emotions; a general low, lacking in energy, a sense of despair or overriding sadness. A one up on the level before, requiring a sensitive attunement. Your emotions are guides. Your level of investment in your daily goings-on; a sign. Are you able to maintain a balance through the ups and downs of life? Listen in, let them be, welcome them open heartedly. Friend, learn to self-soothe. Emotions are meant to move; fear and suppression only blocks progression. Hear them out, be with them, show them through your presence in, with and through them, that you are there. Here. Present and listening. In so doing you will hear or become aware of what they need. It may be a warm cup of hot cocoa at the end of a tough day. It may be a call to a friend or family member. It may be a long bath, a warm meal. It may be asking for help with a heavy load (or saying no to a heavy load).
Lastly, it may be your mind; a pattern of thoughts that perpetually arise. Enquire: are they healthy? This will tell you if they are:
These patterns, do they edify you? Do they fill you with joy or peace? Do they give you drive? Are you able to achieve your goals?
The patterns of thought are the most intriguing. You have to be a keen investigator and spy of your mind. Watch them carefully.
What you will find is that there have been patterns of being throughout the course of your life that have followed the mapped-out route of your mind - your thoughts. You have followed the course set out by them! As if you are not in the driver’s seat! It may seem illogical, but yes, your thoughts can run wild and take you for a ride. When in fact YOU should be leading.
This is an interesting concept as it demands a separation that can feel unfathomable. It is possible.
So begin there, separate and watch your thoughts. And ask if they are helpful.
As a result of your thoughts there are certain patterns that arise in your life, that become normalised. You accept this as the way it is, as your lot in life. But. It can change. It may be coping (or defense) mechanisms of avoidance, isolation, aggression, self-blame, people-pleasing or self-harm. None of which are healthy. You likely adopted them as coping mechanisms (often with genesis in one or a group of particular experiences, often in our childhood).
We have to deconstruct the very intricacies of who we have accepted ourselves to be. These mechanisms can be mistaken for personality. When much of this is based on falsehoods - your thoughts will guide you to what those falsehoods are. It is a journey of finding your truth. The truth of the matter of what you are. And ultimately, that you MATTER. This truth is found in a multitude of evidence scattered throughout your life, ready and available for you to find and use in the trial of your mind.
Take a peek! Gather the evidence, present to your mind and your thoughts what the truth is, and make the final judgement call.
My hope is that the charge would be - healthy, worthy, capable, loved - and the likes. For me, my relationship with God is scattered with the evidence of this. For me, my life, the courses I’ve overcome, the battles I’ve won show me this. For me, the love that emanates from the solid relationships in my life guide me there. These tell me my truth.
I’d implore you to find yours.
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